Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Breaking Traditional Parental Labels

Breaking Traditional Parental Labels

Today was an uncomfortable day for me. I was placed in a position where I had to defend my parental label to my two younger Chicklets. I was asked by someone ( whom I strongly think is gay themselves) who the mother of my two younger children were. I stated that both my wife and I were their Moms. He said again, “Yes, but who is the mother?” I restated my answer saying that they are both children of our marriage. This, unfortunately, was not enough for this man. He then said, “Your wife is the biological mother of the two girls, so then who is their biological father?”

At this point, I am about screaming in my head, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?” Can this man really be this dense!? No, of course he isn’t; this man ( I just can’t bring myself to use the word “gentleman” to describe this individual) is purposely trying to insinuate that I am not really a mother or parent to my two Chicklets. A colleague of mine decided to step in at this point and remind this man that it is public knowledge that here in Canada we are fortunate enough to live in a nation where two people of the same sex are indeed legally the parents of any children born within their marriage when unknown sperm donors are used.

This man had no other reason to pursue this line of questioning other than to try to negate my role as a valid parent to my two young beautiful daughters. I can’t say I have ever been harassed or bullied in this way before. I have been reflecting on my feelings and I now understand one very sad truth about bullying and why so many gay teens see no better option than suicide.

Bullying a gay person does not just hurt. It attacks every fiber of who they are as a person; a person they as a teenager are still trying to figure out themselves! I am in my early 40’s now and confidently know who I am as a person, and I felt attacked, broken down, and judged to be someone or something that is undesirable and illegitimate. How can we expect teens, or children even younger, be expected to handle gender-based bullying!? The truth is we can’t. We as a society MUST begin to stand up on behalf of these individuals who are being bullied and say, “Enough! No more!”

I truly believe that change must start with ourselves and how we live our lives. As long as we continue to differentiate between traditional relationships and marriages and same-sex relationships and marriages, I don’t see how the bullying will ever end. As stated in this recent post on Facebook, someday…..someday we will all just be “beautiful families.” Until such time, the bullying will continue because we will be labelled as different, as the “non” normal. The definition of normal is basically, anything that commonly happens or occurs. So, in fact, we are examples of today’s “normal” families!

So the next time you see a family with children and their two parents, please, if you must put any label on them, may I suggest you label them with the term, “beautiful” family.

Thank-you for reading my rant today,

Sheri

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My Chicklets are the BEST!!!!

This morning, nice and early, I woke to rain. Since this was the day od the Run For a Cure 5K for breast cancer my spirits fell. I did not mind walking in the rain myself but my little ones were planning on coming with me. Soon after I heard my 5 year old telling her little sister that this was the big day! So full of excitement, I dreaded telling them they were staying home.

When he time came to let them they were upset but very quickly said that they still wanted to go and help. I was so proud of my Chicklets! Rain did not dampen their desire to be part of something that was going to help others……..a lesson we could all learn!

As it turned out, it did not rain hard and we all really enjoyed the walk. I was proud to see how many local educators were participating. I was also deeply moved by the now 26 year old who spoke of her three year journey which included 13 surgeries. I was saddened to see just how young many of the survivors were up on the stage. The courage of these women shone in their faces and my heart was touched by the atmosphere of kinship between survivors and those of us who were there to support the cause. 

The day was a great success and I have already signed up for next year. I am so glad to have helped my friend and all the others across Canada fighting to irradicate breast cancer. It was the best way I can think of to spend three hours on a Sunday morning!

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Run for the Cure

Tomorrow morning my two younger Chicklets and I will be taking part in the CIBC Run for the Cure; a 5K which raises money to find a cure for breast cancer. I know stats state that almost everyone now a days has been touched by a female in their lives who has been affected by breast cancer. Until two years ago my life had never been touched.

That is when I first met a fellow teacher and friend. I had no idea; even when she went off work for surgery soon after I started teaching at the school and when she returned a few short weeks later I had no idea the life altering ordeal she had been going through. You see, this lady is so full of life, and so passionate about teaching and her students that one would never guess that cancer attacked her body.

When she quite “matter of factly” told me, well I was completely blown away. I have, many times borrowed some of her personal strength when facing my stresses and issues in life. I am not pretending that she has not gone through hell and back dealing with breast cancer; nor am I trying to glorify it. Her strength has been a source of support for me. If she can stay so positive in her life how can I allow something so little as my own stresses beat me down?! The answer is I can’t.

Tomorrow I am walking on her team during the 5K and I and everyone else whose lives have been touched by knowing this strong, incredible woman are Blessed.

Thank-you my friend!

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“Salvation Army Feels Gay Parents Should All Be Killed”

I am sitting in a hotel room with a friend and fellow supply teacher……and she is reading shared reading from her Facebook page. One such led to a YouTube video stating that the Salvation Army wants all gay parents killed. My first reaction and comment was…..”Hmmmmmm…..can we say glass houses!?!?!?”

I was so angry and immediately went into defense mode…..launching a full series of retorts and arguments against these people! But I quickly realized that as much as I ranted and argued, I realized that it was going to get me nowhere positive. It only served to upset me more a d speak unkindly about others…who….well…..were speaking unkindly about me! When we read articles or hear arguments against something that have passionate (and often opposite feelings regarding) we have a choice;
1. React in anger and therefore respond harshly OR
2. React silently and respond with love and kindness.

Choosing the second option has left me feeling at peace with who I am with no absolutely no ill feelngs towards the individuals mentioned in this article…..just sadness for them living with such closed minds and hearts.

Thanks for reading,

Sheri

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A Venture in Happiness…..

I have really been enjoying reading other people’s blogs. The vast array of writting styles and topics is almost overwhelming. I could easily spend endless hours reading and leaving my comments. One such post struck me in a very personal way today.

Someone wrote about concentrating on seeing things in their day to be appreciative about. They, at the end of the post, encouraged those who just finifshed reading this to try this  exercise in appreciation.  I felt like a higher force had led me to read this particular post today. I have struggled through my life to NOT focus on the negative but find the positive in my days. I have found since I started blogging that I was looking for interesting and usually positive things to share with our community. …..but I have decided to take this concept of finding the positive and use it in my blog.

I am going to create a new page called My Appreciations. I am committing to edititng this page every day; even those days I am not blogging. I am excited to see how this list of appreciations grows. Some will be big and others quite small and ordinary. I think that as I focus my mind this way I am not only going  to feel  not only happier but more capable to handle daily stresses calmly.

I encourage you to consider trying this type of exercise in your life. Let me know how it is going if you decide to embark on a “happiness” venture.

Cheers!

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I have really been enjoying reading other people’s blogs. The vast array of writting styles and topics is almost overwhelming. I could easily spend endless hours reading and leaving my comments. One such post struck me in a very personal way today.

Someone wrote about concentrating on seeing things in their day to be appreciative about. They, at the end of the post, encouraged those who just finifshed reading this to try this  exercise in appreciation.  I felt like a higher force had led me to read this particular post today. I have struggled through my life to NOT focus on the negative but find the positive in my days. I have found since I started blogging that I was looking for interesting and usually positive things to share with our community. …..but I have decided to take this concept of finding the positive and use it in my blog.

I am going to create a new page called My Appreciations. I am committing to edititng this page every day; even those days I am not blogging. I am excited to see how this list of appreciations grows. Some will be big and others quite small and ordinary. I think that as I focus my mind this way I am not only going  to feel  not only happier but more capable to handle daily stresses calmly.

I encourage you to consider trying this type of exercise in your life. Let me know how it is going if you decide to embark on a “happiness” venture.

Cheers!

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